I have a saying, “You don’t know your neighbors until you move into the neighborhood.” Similarly, you never know someone truly until you spend time with him/her. Well, ladies and gentlemen, if you ever find someone who’s qualities are described below … don’t walk or talk, but run for your life! These people are NOT worth your time. Don’t look back. No regrets, save your time, and in some cases, your life. Look up, look around, find the exit and take it! Get outta there!


  1. The spark that once was, has fizzled out to the extent you’re no longer eager for his/her texts or calls because you don’t feel the excitement and passion that once was.
  2. Communication is becoming next to non-existent. There was a time when you would sit up all night just talking. He/she is becoming distant, even secretive, and you are becoming suspect. You are beginning to lack trust and confidence in your relationship. You’re worried, it’s not growing but slowly coming to a halt.
  3. They don’t respond to you on social media. Talk about radio silence. You never hear from him/her and rely on your friends to tell you what your boyfriend/girlfriend is up to. You should never ignore or excuse anything that strikes you as strange or makes you feel uncomfortable. Don’t rely on social media for answers. Speak up, reach out, ask, or check out of the relationship.
  4. You find yourself trying to weird silences. You’re no longer willing to engage in lengthy conversations and only respond when questions are asked. Not good.
  5. The relationship has gone down the road now of Boredom Boulevard. There’s nothing new, stimulating, exciting or growing with this relationship.
  6. You’re slowly letting your guilty pleasures slip away. You’ve become lazy about your appearance and self-care. Spending time with him/her is no longer satisfying. You don’t aim to impress. Subconsciously, your desire (or lack thereof) to impress him/her has faded and you’re hoping it pushes them away. “Ever since you stopped showering, Susan, I’ve been thinking that we should break up.”
  7. They stopped (or never took) photos with you two together. Isn’t it strange? They don’t want any record of the two of you together as a couple. It’s as if they don’t want others to see/know or they don’t want to be reminded of the two of you as a couple.
  8. You sense that the honeymoon might be over. You’ve settled into a routine. Boring! Maybe you’re even starting to take each other for granted.
  9. You two don’t hug, kiss, cuddle, snuggle or anything else that involves the physical touch) any more. Yikes, this is a BIG sign that the relationship is not going very well. You might as well just be friends or neighbors or strangers.
  10. You’re obsessively checking online to keep tabs on him/her. You are learning more about what’s going on in your life by spending 10 minutes on his/her Facebook page. Are we becoming paranoid?
  11. You no longer look forward to date night because neither one of you is interested in spending time together with each other anymore. Even spending time at home watching your favorite shows or a movie has lost its appeal.
  12. One (or both) of you stop doing things for each other, no matter how big or small. It’s as if they don’t exist any more and you don’t see them making the effort to do little things for you like they used to.
  13. The desire to get physical is gone or diminished greatly. You used to look forward to coming home (or going over to their place) and ripping off each other’s clothing in the living room for a little fun before dinner (or after). Now, you feel uncomfortable or anxious about participating or you’re rarely in the mood anymore. Something has changed, and you don’t like it. Intimacy was always a part of your relationship and now it’s gone.
  14. You are the only one taking the initiative to make plans. You used to go out, enjoy the company of each other’s friends, and now socializing has become a chore and … a bore. You want out.
  15. You’re constantly venting to your friends/family about how unhappy you are. What’s different is that everything about him/her bothers you now and while the saga continues, you are reluctant to talk about it with them. At some point, you’ll have to. It might as well be now or never.
  16. You feel like it takes too much effort to address your problems or issues you’re having that are making you unhappy. The small things are piling up and neither one of you is willing to say, “We need to talk.”
  17. You both argue more than you should, sometimes to the point of exhaustion. Perhaps, the other person starts the arguments or you do because you’re frustrated with how things are going. Well? Time to evaluate your HAPPY METER. Is it high=happy or low=sad / mad / disappointed / discouraged?
  18. The other person’s become unreliable or too busy to respond to your calls/texts/messages. Aren’t you a priority in their life? Should you be considering an exit from this relationship at some point?
  19. You start daydreaming about being somewhere else and possibly with someone else. Why not, your other half isn’t there to be that someone special you need to add to your life anymore, or at least they’re heading in that direction … out of the picture, at least as far as your head goes.
  20. He/she is vague and avoids confrontation about anything or most things important for you both to discuss.
  21. He/she takes you for granted, abuses your time and your support.
  22. It feels as if you’ve become more of a distraction to whatever they’re doing that you feel it’s best just not to contact them at all for whatever reason.
  23. The one you’re with can’t even muster up the energy to see you face to face to discuss issues that are bothering you.
  24. Lies, lies, lies. They lie and/or exaggerate the truth for their own benefit.
  25. They never apologize for what they say or do that might hurt you and/or your friends/family.

That’s some list, eh? I have ANOTHER 25 RED FLAGS you should know about in my book, FIND THE ONE FOR ME. Can you identify or relate to any of the red flags mentioned in this article? What’s been your experience? Do share below in the comment section below so others can benefit and RUN!


Relationship Books by Bart Smith

“IF you don’t have my books yet, or the audio version of them to soak in all this knowledge into your love life, then you’re missing out on A LOT! You owe it to yourself and the one you love to acquire this knowledge! I know I wouldn't live my life without it, and neither should you! Contact me if you have any questions about my books/audio.” — Bart Smith, Author

About Bart Smith, Founder

FIND THE ONE FOR ME author, Bart Smith, shares his outlooks on life, experiences, romantic philosophies, deep research and sharp observations in the areas of healthy, loving and happy relationships. His intent? To encourage every man and woman to have high levels of optimism that there REALLY IS SOMEONE out there for EVERYONE! He believes that with the right preparation and open communication, singles using the principles found inside FIND THE ONE FOR ME will be empowered with new dating skills and the art of finding the ONE for them to love and be loved.

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