Trust – Both of you should trust each other implicitly with your lives. You really should. Trust is the foundation of any happy and loving relationship. Trust her as she trusts you.
Loyalty and commitment – Trust is built on a foundation of loyalty and commitment between two partners. Some people seem to get married with the concept that, “If I don’t like it, I’ll sleep around or get divorced.” This is a recipe for disaster in any marriage. Marriage is about commitment to the one person you’re absolutely, no question, deeply in love with. Your heart should flutter with love and sheer joy when you hear his/her name called or the sound of his/her voice …
Other wonderful qualities include: compatibility, chemistry, commitment, communication, comfort, caring attitudes, giving attitudes, flexibility, willingness to listen, desire for romance, absolute honesty, open channels of communication, faithful, sense of humor, confidential, trusting, supportive, dedicated, spontaneity, independent while dependent … can you think of more?
It is also important to have these on your list too when you marry. I call them the Five (5) “Ly’s” (pronounced: “lees”) They are:
(1) You should be EMOTIONALLY ready. Have you experienced enough of life and love to know who YOU really are or WHAT you REALLY want out of life for yourself and for your mate? I love the idea of “taking my time” to find that special someone, Mr. or Mrs. Right. I want to learn the lessons of what I like and what I don’t like about both of us What I need and what I don’t need. What turns me off, what turns me on. Don’t find this out the hard way when you get married. Do your homework on yourself and other other person. don’t take chances and see how much time and money and embarrassment you incur when you don’t try the latter. This is easily found out by waiting, watching, learning, growing as an adult … as a human being. Are you itching to “have kids” or “find security”? All the more reasons to continue reading my list of “Ly’s”…So, please continue.
(2) You should be FINANCIALLY ready. Weddings are expensive and you deserve the best one in town. Sure, the parents might pay for it, but don’t you have any pride and wish to contribute anything to the bill? It is your wedding after all! Children, if you plan to have them or have them now, require much financially. Take care of yourself and your children; plan and prepare for them. Financial worries and stress can take all the fun out of having children and starting a new family. Prepare financially for this event and the events of your children through further education, job advancement, perhaps a job period to begin with. Either way, plan ahead financially.
(3) You should be PHYSICALLY ready. Both of you should be as vibrant and as healthy as possible. At that stage of your life, when you pair up with someone (hopefully for the rest of your life), you want to be able to give your all to them and to do this you must be physically at your best! This includes your physical and mental health. Healthy bodies make for healthy marriages. Who wants to be sick and always away from someone they love! Not me! I want to be available ALL THE TIME to the one I love. My health is a top priority, I would never “not” be by her side. I also wish that her health be vibrant, full of sunshine and life! Living is what we’re doing on this planet – so let’s think life – think health! Together, we help each another. We can approach this area together – work out together, run together, swim together, sweat together, shower together! Live life (passionately) together!
(4) One should also consider your lives GEOGRAPHICALLY. I know this can be a stretch (word-wise) but it’s true. Follow me here for a minute. If my job takes me far away from the one I love (for numerous, extended periods of time), how does it enrich our love life? Think again. Distance does not always make the heart grow fonder – it does when the trips are “brief.” But as the other saying goes, “out of site, out of mind!” Super-extended periods of time away do not fair well for two romantics in love and didn’t you get married to “be together”? Stay close to home as often as possible, or travel together if you can. Shucks, that’s why you got together in the first place – to be close and create distance between you.
(5) Lastly, and this is ultimately the highest of priorities, the two of you should be SPIRITUALLY committed. Are you spiritually compatible? What role do you valies and belifes play in your relatioship? This is a key element for a happy andhealthy marriage. Beyond geography, emotion and money, even physical importance, I truly believe it is important for the two of you be able to “connect” on a religious/spiritual level. I might also refer to it as a “soul connection.” Spirituality and togetherness transcends all that exists on this frail earth of ours. I mean if my loved one was physically injured or experiencing a financial setback of some kind (i.e. lost their job, etc.) a strong spiritual connection can pull you through almost the worst of times! Spirituality can be attained perhaps through a church you both attend our through other religious studies and interests you can share together!
Enlightenment, when shared with your partner, can be one of the greatest connections ever achieved between two people beyond physical connections. By the way, when you connect to someone special (physically) you can look in their eyes and also achieve certain/select elements of spiritual connections as well, which is very cool. You might spiritualize every time you connect physically.
When you connect to a higher source of living energy and power, the two of you truly become that one force for love, life and longevity. Seek that power within yourself and together. Nurture it, cultivate it, feed it, live through it until death do you part.
Now, the greatest thing about what I’ve said here is that you can apply bits and pieces of what I have shared to your own situation whether you’re just married, have been married for some time or plannign marraige or looking to marry one day.
Both of you should be ready in all these categories. Discuss them openly! Ask each other, “Are you …?”
“IF you don’t have my books yet, or the audio version of them to soak in all this knowledge into your love life, then you’re missing out on A LOT! You owe it to yourself and the one you love to acquire this knowledge! I know I wouldn't live my life without it, and neither should you! Contact me if you have any questions about my books/audio.” — Bart Smith, Author